


Can't You See Me

by GalaxySupernova (0bviousLeigh)



Series: Just Enough Time [3]
Category: General Hospital (TV 1963)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bullying, Homophobia, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, timeline what timeline?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27800134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0bviousLeigh/pseuds/GalaxySupernova
Summary: Coming back to Port Charles is not easy for Cam and Oscar. Oscar's going through chemo and Cam's trying to patch things up with his brothers, and neither of them really know what comes next. (Homophobia and bullying tags for chapter 3)
Relationships: Oscar Nero/Cameron Webber
Series: Just Enough Time [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949899
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	1. Friends Don't Understand Me Anymore

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it would take a year for me to write this, but then the writers went and killed my son Dev and I decided this series needed a companion piece about him, and before I wrote that I had to finish this. I think I broke a personal record with how fast I finished this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, what timeline? Carly's pregnant and Sonny brought Dev back from Turkey in like...November after Cam and Oscar went missing. I mentioned him in the previous story so that was always planned.

Cam doesn’t think he’s ever been so nervous in his life. He wipes his hands on his pants, then sits on them to hide how his fingers shake. His brothers should have been here five minutes ago, and all he can think is that they’re not coming because they hate him. He curses Oscar for telling him to go through with this, why did he listen to anything Oscar ever says? Guilt stabs him and he wonders if he’ll ever be able to rag on Oscar again without thinking of him, blood streaming from his nose and pale on the floor of the hotel room saying it was time to get to the hospital.

Well now Cam feels sick to his stomach, in addition to the fluttery feeling of nerves that’s been plaguing him all morning. He reaches for the cup of water that Monica left for him and takes a few slow sips, and as he places the cup back on the coffee table he hears the front door open.

“Hello?” Calls his grandmother’s voice.

Cam drops the cup—luckily it didn’t have far to go, but water still sloshes over the rim and on to the table. Cam looks around for a napkin or something—damn these Quartermaines why don’t they have half-used paper towels hidden in their sofa like normal people? He wipes up the spill with a throw pillow that he then tosses to the other end of the couch. “In here!” he calls.

Aiden dashes in first, and he grins when he sees Cam. Nerves easing, Cam grins back. Aiden comes at him full speed and knocks into Cam just as he starts to stand, and Cam hugs his baby brother so tightly that Aiden actually grunts.

“Not so tight,” Aiden says, even as he squeezes Cam equally tightly and Cam also lets out a groan of protest. Still, Cam eases his grip and ruffles Aiden’s hair. He looks up and sees Jake, hesitating in the door to the den.

Cam expected that—of the pair of them, he figured Jake would be more hesitant.

“We missed you!” Aiden says, pouting up at Cam.

“I missed you, too,” Cam says. “And—”

Jake comes running over then. He knocks Aiden aside and hugs Cam quickly, Cam barely has a chance to hug back before Jake is backing away.

“And?” Jake prompts, sounding angry.

Cam winces. “And I’m sorry that I hurt you both.”

Aiden sits on the sofa, pressed up against Cam’s side. He pulls on Jake’s arm and pats the spot next to him, but Jake shakes his head and continues to stand.

“Why didn’t you write to us? Or call us?” Jake asks.

“If I did, the police would have known where I was,” Cam says. “And I didn’t want to be found.” It sounds mean, but it’s true and he promised himself he wouldn’t lie to his brothers.

Jake frowns. “We wouldn’t have told,” he says.

“It wouldn’t have been up to you,” Cam says.

Grandma takes that moment to make her presence known. She clears her throat and Jake looks over at her. “Cam said we could ask anything,” he says defensively.

Their grandma sits on the sofa opposite them. “I know,” she says, “But I just wanted to ask first—do you guys mind if I stay here with you?”

Jake and Aiden glance at each other and shrug.

“It’s fine with me,” Cam says. He takes a moment to breathe, then to Jake he says, “If I called the house, mom or Franco would have answered. If you or Aiden answered, you’d be so excited you’d probably blurt my name out. If I wrote to you, I’d have to put a return address on the envelope and mom would see it right away and know my handwriting. Even if I managed to talk to either of you secretly, I’d be asking you to lie for me and I didn’t want to do that.”

“Was it better than letting us think something bad happened to?” Jake asks.

“Shut up!” Aiden snaps. “Be angry by yourself, I want to be happy!”

“Hey cool it,” Cam says.

“You can’t tell us what to do,” Jake fires back.

“But I can,” Grandma says.

Not for the first time, Cam isn’t surprised she got elected mayor. At once all three of them shut their mouths and look at her. She beckons Jake to come sit with her and he does, folding his arms and looking more like the kid Cam remembers being brought home four years ago, still recovering from living with Helena and her manipulations.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I know that doesn’t make it better, but I am. And yes, I knew it would hurt you if I left but I did it anyway. It doesn’t mean I wanted to hurt you or Aiden specifically, I didn’t say anything because, like I said, I didn’t want you guys to lie for me.”

“So why did you leave?” Aiden asks.

That’s the question he’s been preparing to answer since he and Oscar left Australia. It’s one thing to tell it to his mom, Franco, the police, Jason, and Josslyn…it’s another thing to tell his brothers.

“You guys know Oscar had cancer, right?” They nod, and Cam goes on, “Oscar told me he wanted to leave and see the world, and he knew his mom wouldn’t let him. He was going to run away, and I decided I was going to run away with him. Oscar doesn’t have any brothers or friends he could take along with him, he didn’t even want to take me along, but I knew he was really sick and…” he glances at his grandma, who nods. Aiden and Jake are young, but they’re not too young to know that cancer is deadly, they’ve seen it in movies and on commercials. “And I knew he was going to die, I didn’t want him to die alone. But I didn’t just leave because of Oscar, I also did it because I was—and still am—angry. At mom, and Franco, and my dad, and at a lot of things.”

That seems to surprise his brothers. “Why are you angry at mom?” Jake asks.

“Because she lied about not knowing Drew was—well he thought he was Jason. And because she knew I didn’t like Franco but she didn’t seem to care. And there’s other stuff but that’s stuff she needs to tell you guys about.” He’s not going into all the stuff he told Oscar, he’s not sure how much his brothers already know about and he’s not going to be the one to spill the secrets of his mother’s love life to them.

“Franco’s nice,” Aiden says defensively.

“But Cam is old enough to remember when he hurt a lot of people,” grandma says. “And when you know someone one way, it can be hard to accept that they’ve changed, or trust what they say.”

Cam nods and says, “I know you both like Franco and he’s good to you, so I didn’t…I didn’t want to ruin it for you. I thought it was…better that way. And that’s why I’m not back home. I’m still angry at mom and I still don’t…” he trails off, then starts over. “Look, it’s not that I don’t trust Franco anymore. He was good to you guys and mom while I was gone and I’m happy about that, but I don’t want another dad. Lucky is my dad, and I thought Drew was going to be my stepdad, and now I’m just…tired of it. But if you guys want Franco to be your stepdad, or just dad then I don’t want to be in the way of that.”

Aiden seems to be rolling that around in his head. But Jake…

“So, we’re choosing between having a dad and having a brother?” He asks.

“No,” Grandma and Cam say at the same time.

“Cam is still your brother,” grandma says.

“But because Franco is our dad you’re not living with us,” Jake says.

Aiden looks guilty. “Would you have left if…if we also didn’t like Franco?”

Now doesn’t that just dig a knife in Cam’s heart. “I…probably would have,” Cam says.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Jake says.

“Hey, I said Franco wasn’t the only reason,” Cam reminds him. “Even if Franco wasn’t with us I was still not ready to let Oscar go off and—”

“Cam,” grandma says warningly, but Cam plows ahead anyway.

“Die by himself,” he finishes. “Because I was angry for Oscar too. His mom lied to him and didn’t tell him he had cancer and that wasn’t right.”

“Jake,” grandma says, “You know what it’s like to be so mad you can’t even say what you’re mad about. You talk about it in therapy, right? Sometimes when you’re really, really mad, so mad you don’t know what to do with yourself, all you can do is stomp off to your room and hit a pillow to feel better.”

“And when you get older hitting a pillow isn’t as satisfying,” Cam says. “Sometimes you’re so angry and hurt you say things you don’t mean, but you say it anyway because you want people to be just as hurt as you are.”

He can see it click in Jake’s head. “Oh,” he says.

Cam nods. “And as angry as I was, Oscar was even more upset. He was so, so…he was…” he can’t articulate it, so he goes on. “And I didn’t want him to be alone with it. Not just because he was sick and I thought he was dying, but because I know what it’s like to feel that way.”

His grandma smiles and nods. Cam feels some of the tension leave him and he sighs, relieved. His brothers may not forgive him yet, or ever, but he thinks they understand, and he said what he wanted to say.

Aiden grabs his hand and tugs on it. “But Oscar’s not dying anymore, right?”

That’s a loaded question, Cam thinks, nausea coming back. “Um, he’s…he had surgery in Australia and he’s going through chemo now. It’s going to help, but he still has cancer.”

Aiden pats his hand. “I’m sorry,” he says. “Tell Oscar I hope he feels better, okay?”

“Y-yeah, I will,” Cam says. That was way too knowing for a ten year old who technically shouldn’t know he and Oscar are dating—as far as Cam knows, at least, his brothers haven’t been told that bit of information. But then, Aiden is ten, not dumb. Maybe he figured it out on his own…

“So tell me about what you guys have been doing,” Cam says, and Aiden launches into everything he’s been baking, and after a brief hesitation Jake starts flipping through his sketchbook.

The afternoon passes with things feeling like they’re back to normal. It’s a relief for Cam, maybe his brothers don’t forgive him but they can at least be in his presence and talk to him, and that’s more than he deserves. They’re disappointed when he tells them that he won’t be home for Christmas, but they cheer up when he gives them the gifts he got them while he was away—touristy things like postcards and shark tooth necklaces, but he did get them both some pretty nice books with pictures of Mount Kilimanjaro. And he gives them a picture he printed out, one Oscar took of him standing next to the sign on the top of mountain.

* * *

December is not a great time to be starting chemotherapy, especially not when Oscar’s spent the last two months in the tropics. Coming back to Port Charles is like dumping a bucket of ice water over his head every hour. Each time he steps outside the cold gets under his skin and he barely makes it from the entrance to the cancer treatment center to Jason’s car without starting to shiver.

Oscar knows he’s so, so lucky that he’s still alive. Being able to go through chemo is a blessing in and of itself. Even better, so far his hair is still hanging on to his head (even though it is thinner and looks dirty all the time). It makes him feel sick for a little while, but he’s usually able to eat without getting too nauseous, and drinking has never been a problem. But god surviving cancer sucks. He’s so cold all the time, and not just because it’s winter. The doctors have told him his blood circulation and red cell count are down and that’s why he’s cold, that he should probably move around more but he’s so tired.

He falls asleep in the car as Jason drives him home. Three treatments down, one more and his first cycle will be done. He’ll get a few weeks to recover, then he’ll have the second cycle, then the doctors will re-check the tumor.

Jason taps his shoulder when they get back to the apartment, and he’s not quite dozing but not quite awake either. Oscar’s in a haze as he climbs the stairs, when Jason opens the door he beelines for the couch and falls face down on it, kicking his shoes off and muttering he’ll put them away in a minute. He hears Jason in the kitchen and nothing else, so he assumes Cam must still be with his brothers, and thinks that he should probably text Cam and let him know that they’re back from the hospital, but his limbs feel heavy and he’s much happier to curl up, tuck his hands into the sleeves of his hoodie and fall asleep.

Some time later Oscar wakes up when a heavy body lands on top of him, and he can’t even complain because it’s finally warm.

“You ass,” Cam says, “I was looking for this.”

“Hgmfskj?” Oscar mumbles.

Cam tugs on the sleeve of the hoodie. “This. I was gonna wear it.”

Oh, it’s Cam’s hoodie…that explains why the sleeves were too long for him.

Cam squirms around and nudges Oscar into the back of the couch, bracketing him in, and Oscar feels Cam flail as he nearly rolls off the couch.

“Fuck,” Cam says with feeling, “Why is this couch so damn narrow?” He slings one leg over Oscar’s hip and Oscar briefly panics.

“Dude, what the hell?” He asks, wishing he could convince his eyes to open so he could glare at Cam. No PDA in the living room, it’s a rule.

“Relax, Jason left like ten minutes ago, you’ve been out of it.”

Cam reaches up and then a blanket is being draped over the pair of them and Oscar relaxes, sighing happily. “Oh my god, you’re actually the best.”

“Damn right I am,” Cam says.

Oscar uncurls his legs from his chest, and Cam moves in to fill the space, still keeping one leg over Oscar’s. His hands find Oscar’s hands and he hisses, “Christ, your fingers are like ice, why didn’t you say something to Jason?”

“Too tired,” Oscar says, shaking his hands free and diving right for Cam’s shirt. Cam halfheartedly tries to keep Oscar from sticking his fingers up under his shirt and pressing them against his back, but aside from a shiver he offers no real complaint. “How was the meeting?” Oscar asks.

“Jake’s mad at me,” Cam says, “Aiden not so much. Kinda figured it would be that way, Aiden’s always been like that. He didn’t even stay mad at Charlotte for that long when she was picking on him. Jake…he understood after I explained it, or rather my grandma explained it. He got that I was mad, but both of them don’t really get _why_ I was mad. Of course I didn’t tell them about like, my dad and my biological dad and Nikolas Cassadine and all that.”

Oscar nods. “Yeah, kinda hard to explain all that.”

Cam gently strokes his fingers down the back of Oscar’s neck. “How was chemo?”

Oscar shrugs. “Boring. Cold. Tell me more about your brothers.”

He zones in and out as Cam talks, wishing he could pay more attention. After a while Cam pulls back slightly and says, “Jason should be back soon, he’s bringing burgers.”

Oscar nods and finally manages to open his eyes. Cam stands and rearranges the blanket to cover Oscar, but Oscar still shivers from the lack of warmth.

“Want me to get you another one?” Cam asks.

Oscar shakes his head. “Nah, I’ll be fine.”

Cam nods and moves to start setting the table. Oscar watches him and remembers how Cam lead him around Australia, taking care of everything from their plans for the day to making sure Oscar stayed hydrated and out of the sun.

“Hey, Cam?” He calls, his heart picking up speed.

Cam looks over, but at that moment they both hear Jason’s key in the lock and they jump and immediately look away from each other. Just as well, Oscar doesn’t even know what he was about to say.

* * *

They haven’t seen Josslyn since she left Australia, and haven’t seen Trina since before they took off for New York, and now they’re meeting Dev for the first time. Dev, whom Oscar is pretty sure Josslyn has a crush on. He’s happy for her, and he has no room to be jealous or protective over her because he broke her heart and is now literally sleeping with her best friend (just sleeping and just because he’s gotten used to it and needs the body heat ~~and oh who the hell is he kidding~~ ) but damn it all if Oscar’s really not looking forward to this. Or at least, not looking forward to the awkwardness he knows it about to come, even if he did miss Trina and wants to see Joss again.

Cam is working himself into a fit, double checking that he has hand sanitizer and clean masks for everyone, Oscar almost wishes that they had asked Jason to stay, he has a feeling Cam wouldn’t be so worked up if he was here.

“It’s going to be fine,” Oscar says for the dozenth time. “I’ll be fine.” He’s finally finished chemo and yes, he has to be careful not to go out too much and catch a cold, but he doesn’t think Joss, Trina, and Dev really need to change their clothes when they get here.

Cam hardly pays attention, and a few minutes later there’s a knock at the door. Cam opens it and Oscar stands up and takes a few steps forward, but stops and sighs fondly as Cam fumbles for the bottle of hand sanitizer.

“Up to your wrists,” he orders, pumping it out into three pairs of waiting hands—Joss must have warned Trina and Dev. Trina rolls her eyes and she meets Oscar’s gaze as she puts on a mask, she’s smiling but he can tell she’s angry. And Dev…

Well, Oscar can see why Joss likes him, he’s certainly good looking. Tall, lanky but without the awkwardness Oscar has, he glances around the apartment and avoids looking directly at anyone.

“Are we safe now?” Joss asks dryly as Cam finally lets them in.

“Hey, can’t be too careful,” Cam says.

“Mm hmm,” Trina says, eyes narrowing.

Oh boy. Oscar swallows. “Hi, Trina,” he says meekly.

Joss places her hand gently on Trina’s shoulder, then she taps Dev’s arm. “Dev, that’s Cam, and that’s Oscar.”

“Hey,” Dev says with a small wave.

Even his voice is nice. Oscar repeats to himself that he’s not jealous, he’s just so unbelievably sorry.

“Hi,” Cam says, but he’s looking at Trina. “Um…Trina, we…we’re really sorry.”

“Really sorry,” Oscar emphasizes.

“Yeah, I know,” Trina says. “Really sorry for what, though? Taking off without a word, breaking Joss’ heart, or letting us all wonder if you were dead?”

“Trina,” Joss says sharply. “C’mon, we talked about this.”

“Yeah, and I’m still angry.”

Dev takes a few steps back. Oscar can’t blame him.

“Sorry for all of it,” Oscar says, “More than we can ever say. And we’re not asking for you to accept an apology from us or forgive us, we just wanted say it to you face to face, we are sorry.”

Trina rubs a hand over her face and Oscar sees Cam flinch as her mask is jostled. “I know, I know,” she says tiredly. “And part of me gets it. But god you guys…for weeks all we saw was your faces on the news, and people were saying the wildest things, and getting all up in Josslyn’s face—”

“Trina!” Josslyn says again.

Trina glances at her, then does a double take. “Wait you didn’t tell them?”

“Tell us what?” Cam asks.

“Don’t you dare,” Josslyn says.

“Joss got a lot people asking questions about—”

“Trina no!”

“If she knew we were gay?” Cam asks.

“If she knew where we were?” Oscar asks at the same time.

The silence that follows is deafening. Josslyn looks absolutely furious, Cam like he wants to puke, Trina resolute, and Oscar is just mortified. He has no idea what happened to Dev, maybe he jumped out the window to escape the whole thing, Oscar wouldn’t blame him if he had.

“We’re not…” Oscar begins, knowing full well that yeah, Trina had been about to say ‘gay’ but half hoping it had just been questions about their whereabouts.

“That was uncalled for,” Josslyn says.

“But the truth,” Trina retorts, “And you should have told them before they found out from someone else, not like they’re going to be holed up in this apartment forever.”

“Debatable,” Cam mutters.

“That should not have been the first thing out of your mouth and honestly Trina, I can’t believe you,” Joss says, talking right over Cam.

“Look, whatever you two knew and Joss knew is frankly between the three of you,” Trina says, “But I was here when you guys weren’t and I need you to know that people were unbelievably shitty to Josslyn. I’m not going to repeat the thigs people said to her or about her because I think you guys can imagine it, and I need you to know that whatever made you leave may have been…god Oscar I’m really glad you’re alive, and Cam I know I didn’t really understand how angry you were at your parents, but you left without telling us anything and it was hard for all of us but it was really, really hard for Josslyn, too.”

There are tears in Trina’s eyes and she’s shaking. She darts toward Cam and Oscar wonders if she’s going to push him or something, but instead she hugs him tightly. Shocked, Cam hugs her back after a brief hesitation, then she lets go and runs at Oscar next. Knowing what’s coming, he manages to get his arms around her right away, and she sobs into his shoulder.

Oscar can imagine what the kids at school were saying. Probably they felt sorry for Joss at first, but then the rumor mill would have started. Did she know? Was she pretending to be Oscar’s boyfriend while secretly she knew he was with Cam? Were they playing her? Using her? How did she miss the signs? How embarrassing, her boyfriend was gay all along.

And it’s not true, god none of it is remotely true and Trina probably knew it, but also knew if she said anything it would only fuel the fire, so all she could have done was try to shield Joss from the worst of it and stand by her side. And Trina would have been just as much in the dark as Joss was, not knowing if they were okay, if they were kidnapped or left on purpose. They didn’t write to her at all, at least they sent Joss a letter.

“Did…” Oscar clears his throat as is voice breaks, “Did Joss tell you we wrote to her?”

Trina leans back and wipes her eyes. “Yeah,” she says, sitting next to Oscar on the sofa. “And she debated it because of my dad, knowing he’s a cop and not wanting me to get in trouble for not saying anything.”

“Trina, really,” Josslyn says, “I’m over it.”

“But it shouldn’t have been like that in the first place,” Cam says.

“But that’s not your guys’ fault,” Josslyn says, stomping her foot. Oscar chuckles, it’s adorable. “Oh shush,” she says to him, “I know it’s childish but damn it all it’s just so fucking stupid! Of all the things to latch on to it wasn’t the damn secret cancer, it was the love-triangle that wasn’t even there!”

“Yeah, that was really shitty,” Trina agrees. “And you guys really do need to know that people are still talking and they’re not saying very nice things.” She glances Cam’s way and he pales.

“Soccer team?” He asks.

Trina nods. Cam sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “I guess it’s a good thing I’m not going back.”

Oscar feels shame burning in his gut. “This is all my fault,” he blurts, and at once Josslyn, Trina, and Cam rush to tell him that it’s not, but really he’s the one who wanted to leave, he put this whole thing in motion, if only he had just not gotten Cam involved none of this would have happened.

“Uh, can I just say something?”

They all jump and turn around—Dev is standing in the kitchen doorway with his mask pulled down and a half-eaten sandwich in his hands.

“Dev, really?” Josslyn asks, and Oscar is about to say that Dev can say whatever he wants, but before he can Dev shrugs and laughs.

“Hey, gotta eat while I can, right?” He says—oh, she meant the sandwich. “But like, does any of this really matter?”

“What do you mean, does it matter?” Cam asks.

“I mean like, it’s done,” Dev says. “You can’t change what’s already happened, you can only move forward. So unless you can find a way to stop people from talking, there’s not a whole lot you can do. You’re all sorry, but none of you are saying what you’re gonna do to fix it.”

Cam snorts. “I doubt it can be fixed. No one will believe anything we say.”

Dev shrugs. “So let it go. I’m just saying, none of this has anything to do with me so if you guys are going to keep standing here crying, I’ll just go.”

“Oh no you don’t!” Josslyn says firmly. “Not after last time! And by the way, don’t think I’m not checking your pockets before we leave.”

Dev flinches and for a half-second looks ready to throw his sandwich in Josslyn’s face, but the moment passes and he slinks back into the kitchen.

“Wait, come back!” Oscar calls.

That seems to surprise everyone. Dev does come back, also looking a bit shocked. “Yeah?”

“You’re right,” Oscar says. “It’s already happened and there’s not much we can do to make people stop talking. But we can try.”

“Oh?” Cam asks, “How?”

“By giving them something else to talk about,” Oscar says. He looks to Joss. “You can lie, if you want to. You can tell people whatever they want to hear if it gets them to leave you alone.”

“I’ll stop you right there,” she says. “Because I really, truly, 100 percent don’t give a flying fuck what anyone says about me, you, or Cam anymore.” She pauses. “Wait no, that came out wrong—obviously I do care because frankly it’s all extremely homophobic and biphobic and just wrong, but it doesn’t hurt me in that it makes me want to tell a ridiculous story to make it go away.”

Trina adds, “And neither of us care to make you guys exploit your sexual orientations or relationship.”

Cam is starting to look like he might like to jump out a window and escape the conversation, so Oscar decides to wrap things up and move along. “Okay, then in that case I do have another thing I want to say.” He looks back Dev’s way. “Joss said you really helped her when you got here, so thank you. I’m glad she has a friend like you.” He turns Trina’s way and grabs her hand. “And that she had you to watch her back. And I really am sorry for what we put you through, Trina.”

“Yeah,” Cam says, “I am too, Trina. Really sorry.”

Trina smiles, Oscar can see her cheeks turn up even behind the mask. “Thanks, guys. I accept your apology and I’m on my way to forgiving you.”

“Oh hey,” Cam says suddenly, “Oscar, show them your tattoo.”

“You got a tattoo?!” Trina shrieks.

Oscar turns around and tugs up his shirt to show them the map of the world across his back. “Gotta get another star for Sydney,” he says.

“Holy shit, that’s awesome!” Dev says.

After they admire the tattoo, Cam joins Oscar on the couch as they tell Trina and Dev about their adventures. Trina sits across from Oscar, and Joss and Dev sit at Jason’s tiny table and from the corner of his eye. At one point Oscar catches Dev taking some decorative piece of crap out of his pocket and handing it to Josslyn. He’s sure Jason wouldn’t have minded if Dev did take it, but it does make him wonder just what Dev is like and what his story is.

Oscar has a hard time falling asleep that night and he can tell from the tossing and turning that Cam isn’t having much better luck. He turns over on his side and finds himself staring at Cam’s back. Oscar can read the tension in his body, in the tightness of his shoulders. He reaches out and just barely touches the space between Cam’s shoulders. “You okay?” Oscar finally asks.

Cam doesn’t answer for a long few minutes. Oscar presses his hand more firmly against Cam’s back, trailing his hand up until he reaches Cam’s hair and gives a gentle tug.

Cam turns over on his side and Oscar brings his hand down to rest on Cam’s hip. “You okay?” He asks again.

Cam shrugs. “Kinda sick of other people talking about us, is all.”

“We did take off for several months, that’s not the kind of thing people tend to forget.”

“You know damn well that’s not what I meant.”

He does know.

“Kinda ironic, isn’t it?” Cam asks, “I think all of Port Charles has an opinion our sexualities and we haven’t even…”

“Said anything about it ourselves?” Oscar finishes.

It’s true. God, it’s been months and Oscar doesn’t think either one of them have ever said the word “gay” in relation to themselves or each other, but maybe that’s because the word doesn’t fit.

“So, what?” Oscar asks as Cam remains silent. “You want to put a name to it?”

“I mean you’ve…that is we…the word boyfriend has been used.”

Oscar nods. “Yeah, it has. But not the other B word.”

Cam lets out a frustrated huff. “I don’t even know what word to use anymore, it’s not like I’m an expert on sexual orientations.”

Oscar rolls over on to his back, staring at the bunk above him—the one Jason thinks Cam sleeps in every night. Does Jason know? Does he suspect? Josslyn and Jax are the only ones they’ve told flat-out and he figures Trina…

“Shit,” he mutters, “We didn’t even tell Trina, did we?”

“I thought Joss told her,” Cam says.

“You really think she did, or is Trina just assuming like everyone else?”

“Nah I think Joss told her.”

“You think Dev knows?”

“Honestly, I don’t care,” Cam says.

Oscar grins. “Jealous?”

“Of what exactly?”

“Dev. I know I am even though I have no right to be, and even though I don’t like Joss like that anymore. I’m jealous because he came in and made her feel better. I was her friend first, you were her friend before me. We should have been here and it’s our own fault we weren’t, we hurt her, but I’m still jealous.”

Oscar’s heart is racing. He half expects Cam to shove him out of the bed and tell him to get lost.

“Yeah,” Cam says. “Yeah, I guess I am, too.”

Oscar sighs in relief.

“What, you thought I was gonna punch you?” Cam asks.

“Something like that.”

“I always thought it’d be easier,” Cam says. “I thought you just like someone and that’s all there was to it. You like them, you date them, you marry them, and that’s the end of it. No one ever said…” He pauses. “Well, I guess that’s why TV shows always have love triangles. Still don’t understand cheating, though.”

“Same,” Oscar agrees.

Cam scoots closer and finds Oscar’s hand, linking their fingers together. “So, are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Bi?”

Oscar shrugs. “Guess I must be. I did like Joss. Can’t say I ever really thought much about…other options before.” He hesitates, and decides he’s got to say it. “Dev’s kinda hot though.”

Cam snorts—loudly, and he quickly smacks his free hand over his mouth. “What?!” He asks, choking back laughter. “Dude!”

“Oh come on, he’s good looking!”

“Oscar I mean this in the most bi-positive way possible, but that’s so gay.”

Oscar elbows Cam in the ribs. “And I say this in the most sexual orientation accepting way possible, you’re gay.”

Cam doesn’t answer and Oscar wonders if he’s gone too far, but then Cam rolls over on top of him, propping himself up on his elbows, and he leans down and kisses Oscar.

Oscar closes his eyes and melts. It’s been a long time since the hotel in Sydney, the last place they really kissed at all. It’s not like they’ve been avoiding each other since they got back to Port Charles, but they have been walking on eggshells, ready to spring apart at a moments notice, pretend nothing was going on.

Then Cam’s hands are under Oscar’s shit and his tongue in Oscar’s mouth and Oscar decides it’s time to stop thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work and Chapter title taken from TXT's song "Can't You See Me."


	2. Who's a Liar?

Jason asks about a hundred times if the two of them are okay to be home along on Christmas. Oscar’s wrapped up his first round of chemo, and he could probably accept the invitation to the Quartermaines’ party, or Jason’s invitation to join himself, Sam, and the kids, or his parents’ hopeful request for dinner, but he and Cam have decided that no, they want to spend it in the apartment, alone. They’ve got research to do.

Their book has become part travel-journal, part life story. They’ve cut out some of the more personal things (like Cam’s mothers’ torrid romantic history), and the unbelievable parts (like the memory mapping and swapping), and the criminal parts (they’ve glossed over how they got out of America), and now they need to find someone who will actually help them put the book out for people to read. They spent Christmas Eve looking up publishing houses and getting nowhere, and now they’re choosing instead to look into editors.

“Let’s start by looking up some recent autobiographies and like…life philosophy books,” Cam says.

“Life philosophy?”

“Yeah you know, like those white people who talk about how flipping houses is a metaphor for turning your life around or something.”

Oscar laughs. “Wow, okay weirdly specific.”

“My mom reads them,” Cam says.

They check out probably two dozen different individual editors, grouping them by publishing houses, and noting what kind of books they seem to be into. Over the next few hours, they narrow it down to six people they want to contact. Trina helped them draft an email, and they’ve picked out a few pages of the book to include with the email. By the time night falls and Jason comes back, they’ve sent out all their emails and even had time to make out a little. All in all, not a bad Christmas.

* * *

The new year starts out with a few promising responses from editors. Half tell them sorry, not this time, the rest ask for more information. After a week, Cam and Oscar have their hopes pinned on one woman named Sarah Dell, and one afternoon when Oscar is watching Cam complete an online class, Sarah calls his cell phone.

Oscar snatches the laptop and gestures for Cam to go take the call, he’s been communicating with her more than Oscar has. Cam leaves the apartment and Oscar tries not to get his hopes up as the minutes tick by. He finishes up the quiz Cam was doing and tries to get rid of his nervous energy by starting Cam’s homework.

Not long after, Cam comes bursting into the apartment, windswept and grinning. “I’ve got good news,” he says.

Oscar’s jaw drops and he shoves the laptop aside. “No way, she’s gonna help us publish it?”

Cam laughs. “She’s gonna help us publish it!”

Oscar leaps off the couch. “Yes! No way, oh my god, we’re gonna write a book!”

“We already wrote a fucking book, you nerd!” Cam shouts. He grabs Oscar and hugs him so hard he almost lifts Oscar off his feet. Oscar goes in for a kiss and Cam quickly covers his mouth.

“Dude, I didn’t even wash my hands!”

Oscar can’t believe him. “Did you just fucking call me dude when I was about to kiss you? Also fuck that you just went outside, I’ll be fine,” and he yanks Cam’s hand away and kisses him.

Cam’s protests seem to have been half-hearted for how he grabs Oscar’s waist and holds on tight. This is amazing, this is fantastic, after all the work they did on their book and all the stress, someone actually wants to publish it. He and Cam are going to tell their story, their way, and people are going to read it.

Cam pushes even closer and Oscar lets out a surprised gasp as he overbalances and goes down on the couch, Cam following quickly, swinging one leg over Oscar’s hips.

“Okay, so not dude,” Cam says, “Didn’t realize you wanted a pet name.”

Fuck, holy shit, is this actually happening? Oscar’s heart is going a mile a minute and he grabs both of Cam’s hands, fingers tangling together. “Anything’s better than dude.”

Cam leans down and Oscar holds his breath, waiting for a kiss, but Cam’s mouth lands on his neck. Oscar swallows, tilting his head back. He can’t believe this is actually happening, he can’t believe he can feel his face heating up and butterflies in his stomach because Cam put his mouth on his neck. He lets go of Cam’s hands and ends up with his fingers in Cam’s hair instead, pulling him up and in for a kiss. Cam actually groans, holy shit is this actually happening?

He hears the door opening but it takes him a second to realize the _door is opening_ and by the time Cam flies away from him it’s too late, there’s no way Jason missed the two of them making out on his couch. Oscar looks toward the door, panicking, ready to make an excuse, shit, shit, shit this is not how this was supposed to…

 _Shit,_ Drew is behind him.

“Sorry,” Jason says, “I knocked but…”

“Nothing happened!” Cam and Oscar shout at the same time, and doesn’t _that_ just make everything worse.

“I’m gonna go shower!” Cam yells instead.

“I’m gonna go do my homework!” Oscar yelps, grabbing for the laptop—Cam’s laptop, his homework, Oscar is not taking classes right now, _shit._

“No, wait,” Jason says and Oscar desperately does not want to be here for this conversation, but he trips over the laptops’ power cord and goes down hard as he fights to save it from getting crushed.

“Oscar!” Cam, Drew, and Jason all yell.

Oscar looks down at himself, Cam’s computer is okay but his mouth stings, he licks his lips and…oh damn, he bit his lip open.

Cam gets to him first and helps him up on the couch. “I’m fine,” Oscar insists, like this _isn’t_ the worst thing that could have happened. Cam kneels in front of him, not making eyes contact, and hands him a tissue.

“Right, um, you should go clean that up,” he says.

“Guys, please,” Drew says.

Oscar’s face is burning and Cam’s is too. Cam looks up, panic raw on his face. “What do we do?” He mouths.

Oscar glances up to his dad, who doesn’t look…surprised. Come to think of it, neither does Jason.

“You knew?” Oscar asks, his voice far quieter and smaller than he intended.

“I guessed,” his dad says.

“I figured,” Jason says.

Oscar looks back to Cam, who briefly looks furious before he sighs and just looks resigned. “Right, okay,” Cam says, and he heaves himself on to the couch and leans back, hand over his face, “Do my parents know?”

“I’m not sure,” Drew says.

“You guys don’t sit around and talk about it?” Cam asks sharply. “What is it, do we have neon signs over our heads?”

“No you just…” Drew sighs, he comes in and shuts the door. “I just saw how you acted towards each other in Australia, that’s all.”

“You live here, and I’m pretty good at noticing things,” Jason says. “I didn’t think it was my business to bring it up though.”

“You don’t care?” Oscar blurts. “We sleep in the same room!”

“Yeah and the walls are kind of thin,” Jason says, “Which I trust you to know, and again it’s not really my business to bring it up, I’m not a parent to either of you.” That gets him a look from Drew, and Jason continues, “But considering Oscar’s been in chemo and Cam’s been all about following the rules, I didn’t imagine there was much happening between the two of you.”

“And if there is—” Drew begins, but Oscar screeches and covers his ears.

“GOD NO!” He yells, “One talk was enough!”

“Yeah, really!” Cam says, “And no, no way, nothing is happening! Or happened! Not, no, nothing!”

The relief on Drew’s face is palpable and he sinks into the chair by the table. “Good, because you’re both way too young for sex.”

Even with his hands over his ears, Oscar hears the S word and he cringes. “Eurgh,” he says, “Ugh, please, never again.”

“Yeah, can we change the subject, please?” Cam begs.

Drew nods. “Well, I was coming over to say that Monica really, really wants to talk to you, Oscar, and she’s all but threatened me with bodily harm if I return without your word that you will speak to her.”

As if today couldn’t get worse.

Drew’s not done, though. “She asked me to tell you that she doesn’t know why you’re avoiding her, or the rest of the family, and she impressed upon me that she’s not upset with you at all, she’s just very glad that you’re alright and very sorry for what you must have gone through when you learned you had cancer.”

Oscar’s jaw drops. “She has no idea? Really?”

“I mean, I also have no idea,” Drew says.

“So you clued in that Cam and I are dating,” Oscar says incredulously, “But can’t figure out that I stole from the Quartermaines?”

He can see the lightbulb go off over Drew’s head. “Oh, that explains it!”

Jason rubs a hand over his face. “Oh, my god,” he mutters.

Oscar laughs, “Okay, so it’s not just me.” How rolling in money are these people that they don’t notice several thousand dollars go missing?

“No, I mean,” Drew explains, “Remember at the beginning, we didn’t know what had happened to the pair of you. Monica didn’t get the bank statements until two weeks later and we were all distracted, so when she noticed the money was gone we didn’t make the connection right away. And honestly, Oscar, if you want to hurt the Quartermaine fortune, you’ll need to hit them harder than that.”

“Damn rich people,” Cam mutters.

“But I still stole it,” Oscar says. “And I used it to disappear and worry everyone.”

“And I repeat, Monica is not mad,” Drew says, “That is something I can promise you.”

“I can also promise that,” Jason says. “I do know Monica and she probably would have forgiven you even if she had known about it sooner. She doesn’t hold anger when it comes to her grandkids.”

Oscar swallows, suddenly feeling nauseous. Monica isn’t even really his grandmother, Allen was his grandfather and only because he had an affair.

As if reading his face, Drew leans forward. “Oscar, she loves you. Everything between her and Allen is just that—between her and Allen. Both her children are dead, Michael is her only biological grandchild. Nothing makes her happier than having a big family with lots of kids, be they related to her by blood or simply because she loves them. And she misses you, you don’t have to go to the house, you can call her if you want to.”

“Or she can come here,” Jason says.

Oscar glances at Cam, who shrugs. He sighs. “I miss her too. Um…tell her I’ll…I want to see her and I guess I’ll figure out by tomorrow what I want to do.”

Drew nods. “Okay, thanks.” He looks a little awkward. “Uh, I guess I’ll go then.”

Oscar wants to tell him not to, but the whole atmosphere is still very awkward and he and Cam really need to talk, he can tell Cam is about to either sink into the floor or explode, so he says goodbye to his dad and when he leaves, he and Cam mumble something and take off for their bedroom. Thank god, Jason doesn’t try to stop them.

“Holy shit,” Oscar whispers as he shuts the door.

Cam flops face first on the bed and lets out a strangled-sounding yell, somehow managing to keep it at a level that Jason might not hear.

Oscar doesn’t know what to do with that, so he simply leans against the door and slides down until he hits the floor. He gives Cam a minute, then asks, “You okay?”

Cam picks his head up and turns to face Oscar. He looks furious. “I say again, just getting tired of people assuming things.” As Oscar remains silent, Cam glowers. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Aren’t you sick of it?”

Oscar looks away. “I mean, they assumed right, and it makes sense. Jason does live here and he sees us all the time, it makes sense he’d pick up on it even if we are trying to hide it. And my dad…he said he figured it out watching us in the hospital.”

“So?” Cam hisses, “That gives them the right to assume that we’re gay?”

“They never said that, just that they knew we were…had a thing going on. Or guessed it.”

“Whatever,” Cam says, rolling his eyes.

“My dad said they’re not talking about us behind our backs.” He’s starting to feel a bit defensive here. “Like I said, they were right. Do you care because you think it’s personal? Would you care if they assumed you were dating Joss?”

Cam shoots up so fast he almost hits his head on the bunk. “Shut up,” he hisses, “Don’t act all high and mighty, like if someone asked you if you were gay your first reaction wouldn’t be denial, alright?”

“I say again, no one said you were,” Oscar retorts, reminding himself to stay quiet.

“They thought it.”

“So what?”

“So no one is allowed to decide what I am but me!” Cam spits, “And I don’t know, alright?!”

“Newsflash, I don’t know either,” Oscar fires back.

Then they sit there, glaring at each other, and Oscar doesn’t know about Cam but he feels like he’s burning with rage and he doesn’t even really know why. He stands up and climbs the ladder to the top bunk.

“What are you doing?” Cam asks.

“I don’t want to look at you anymore and I’m not going back out there,” Oscar says. He flings himself down on the bed, making sure to rattle the whole structure.

“Oh, that’s mature,” Cam says.

“Fuck off I’m sixteen and I thought I would be dead by now,” Oscar says, “I’m allowed to not be mature.” After a second, he adds, “And so are you!”

“What?” Cam asks incredulously.

“You’re also allowed to be not—to be immature,” Oscar explains, “But that doesn’t mean I have to like it so…so throw your fit by yourself, alright?”

“Fine!” Cam says, and he flops around and also jostles the bed on purpose.

But it doesn’t take long for Oscar to get bored. He’s not used to being mad at Cam, and he left his phone in the living room, so he doesn’t even have that to distract himself with, or figure out how long it’s been. He can hear the TV in the living room, sounds like something random Jason put on as background noise.

After some time, just when Oscar is thinking he should really go down the ladder and apologize, Cam breaks the silence.

“About what your dad said…about…you know…”

Oscar waits, but Cam doesn’t elaborate. “No, I don’t know.”

Cam sighs. “Jesus Christ. About there being stuff happening between us and being too young.”

“Oh,” Oscar says. “Um…what about it?”

“Just…do you think about it?”

“About like…in general or being too young?”

“I guess in general.”

Oscar stares at the ceiling and feels heat rising in his cheeks. “Uh, not really? I used to, like…before I found out about the tumor. After that I guess I never did. Not until you brought it up that night I got drunk, anyway.” Which reminds him, “What were you going to offer to do, anyway?”

“I don’t even fucking know,” Cam says. “I was planning on being a lot drunker, figured it’d be easier.”

“Have you ever…you know…had sex before?”

“Not really.”

“Not really?”

Cam is silent for a minute, then quietly he says, “Last year I was at a Halloween party and there was a girl I kind of liked. We kissed, she put her hand down my pants and then something happened, I don’t remember what but we were interrupted and the moment passed. And I was kind of glad because I wasn’t sure I wanted her to…do anything.”

Oscar’s not sure what to say to that, besides that he’s sorry, but he has a feeling Cam doesn’t want to hear that. “So do you ever think about it? Like, in general.”

“I guess sometimes,” Cam says. “People talk. Sometimes it kind of…weirds me out, the stuff I hear. I don’t know, I guess I kinda do think we are too young. It was kinda stupid of me to offer…that to you, it was…it felt like something I was supposed to do.”

“Because I was dying?”

“Yeah, and people always say that to kids who are dying. They should be kissed, they should experience…stuff.”

“You can’t even say the word, can you?”

“Not when I’m pretty sure Jason is listening.”

Oscar laughs, pretty loudly but he can’t stop himself. Cam kicks the bottom of the bunk.

“Shut up,” he says, but he sounds like he’s laughing too.

Oscar sits up and climbs down the ladder. Cam scoots over on the bed and Oscar lays down. “It wasn’t really on my mind,” Oscar admits as he settles down.

Cam hums. “Are you ace?”

Oscar shrugs. “Are you?”

“Maybe?”

Another moment of silence. Then Cam asks, “Does it matter?”

Oscar shrugs again. “I guess we are kind of young.” He glances at Cam. “So like, before, on the couch…?”

He can see the blush on Cam’s cheeks. “Was totally not thinking about sex,” he says in a whisper. “It was just…different.”

Oscar nods. “Okay. But I say again, anything’s better than dude.”

“Whatever you say, babe,” Cam says, like it’s second nature, and Oscar yanks the pillow out from under his head and whacks Cam with it.

“SHUT UP!” He yells, all sense of quiet flying from his head, and praying to god Cam doesn’t realize he’s red as a traffic light.

* * *

There’s absolutely no one Cam can go to for advice on sexual orientation. Everyone he knows is straight or closeted, because if they’re anything but straight he sure as hell isn’t aware. He for sure is not going to ask his mom, and forget about Franco, just full stop forget about it. He could ask Josslyn, maybe, but then he’s dating her ex so that’s awkward. He’s not asking Trina because she’ll tell Joss and he’s not going to ask her to keep secrets. He briefly considers asking Jason, but throws that to the wind automatically. He has an idea of who to ask, but it makes him cringe. Still, he has questions and google hasn’t been much help.

So he accompanies Oscar to the Quartermaine mansion to talk to his grandmother (Oscar has decided that this conversation needs to be had in person), and when Oscar shuts the door to the den, Cam turns to the man who was almost his stepfather.

“Can I ask you something? Privately?”

Drew looks surprised, but nods. He leads Cam to another room and lets Cam be the one to shut the door.

“What’s up?” Drew asks.

Cam, hoping to god he’s not blushing, blurts, “Howdoyouknowifyouwannahavesex?”

Drew blinks at him a few times, and Cam wishes the ground would swallow him up. Maybe Drew didn’t understand him. “How—” He starts to ask again through gritted teeth, but Drew stops him.

“I heard you, I just…um, I’m trying to think of how to explain it.” He gestures towards a sofa. “Um, do you want to sit?”

Cam does, if only to have something to do. Drew sits on the other end of the sofa and Cam is glad he can just stare straight ahead and not make eye contact.

“Well, I suppose it’s a lot like know that you want to do anything else,” Drew finally says. “When you know you want to kiss someone, you get a feeling, an urge if you will. You feel it in your head and your heart.”

“Is it like…something you feel all the time?” Cam mumbles.

“No, not all the time, and not about every one either. Not for me, at least. I don’t go around thinking about it all the time, it isn’t my sole focus or anything.”

Cam exhales. Okay, so just because he hasn’t felt it yet doesn’t mean he never will.

“Does that answer your question?” Drew asks. “I feel like I didn’t help much.”

“No, it did,” Cam says. “Thanks.”

“Okay, now I have a question for you. A few, actually.”

Cam grimaces. Ugh, he should have expected this. “Yeah?”

“Is this a secret? You and Oscar, I mean.”

“Um…” That is a good question. He and Oscar probably should have talked about that last night. “Not…exactly? Josslyn knows, and Jax did, and I guess you and Jason, but…Joss and Jax were the only ones we actually told.”

Drew nods. “Can I ask why? That is, why you haven’t told your mom and Franco? They seem like they’d be very understanding.”

“We didn’t know if you guys would let us stay together in the same house if you knew,” Cam says. “And I guess Oscar should have been the one to say this but just so you know, it wasn’t a thing when we left. It just sort of…happened.”

“Kind of like a feeling you just had?” Drew asks knowingly.

It’s like a switch flips in Cam’s head. “Oh!” He gasps, “Yeah, I guess.”

Drew grins and nods. “Just so you know, I’m glad you had each other.”

Finally, Cam feels at ease around Drew. He’s a pretty cool guy, he should tell Oscar about it. Well, maybe not everything, but some of it.

* * *

Round two of chemo is underway and not doing Oscar any favors. Winter is raging full force, and his second round of chemo finds him and Jason stuck in traffic as cars crawl through snow barely an inch deep. It’s kind of pathetic, actually, and it means he and Jason are stuck together in an enclosed space for even longer than normal, now with the incident from a month ago hanging over Oscar’s head. Probably he’s making it more of a big deal than it actually is, but this is also Jason Morgan. Yeah he’s Oscar’s uncle, but he’s also easily the coolest person Oscar knows and he walked in on Oscar and Cam making out on his couch.

“Are you warm enough?” Jason asks suddenly.

Oscar barely manages not to jump. “Yeah, yeah I’m good,” he says.

Jason nods. The car inches forward.

He and Cam have been talking, kind of, about telling their families about their relationship. Cam told Oscar that he had a talk with Drew about stuff and Drew was cool about it, and they are both kind of tired of not speaking to their parents, at least if they say something and they flip out then Cam and Oscar will have a new reason to not speak to them.

“Um, Jason?”

“Yeah?”

He hopes Cam doesn’t mind him saying this. “Cam and I are thinking about telling our moms that we’re dating. We um…we didn’t say anything before because we weren’t sure they’d be okay with us living together if they knew.” He glances sideways at Jason. “If…if they do have a problem with it, can we stay with you anyway?”

“Well, like I said I have no problem with it,” Jason says, “But I am also not your legal guardian.”

“Right,” Oscar says, and a knot forms in his stomach.

“I know your dad is okay with it, so he’ll probably speak in favor of letting things continue as they have been. Why are you worried about it?”

Oscar shrugs. “Isn’t it like, a thing mothers oppose on principle? That’s why they never let kids have co-ed sleepovers? No one ever anticipates—” he cuts himself off. “Just, you’re not supposed to let kids share a room if they’re dating.”

“I never saw the logic in that,” Jason says. “I may not remember being a teenager but I’ve been around enough of them to know that they do what they want regardless of boundaries set by their parents. I’m more thankful you and Cam aren’t sneaking around. So if you’re worried about being forced to live apart from Cam, I promise I’ll do everything I can to keep that from happening, even if I can’t promise it will work.”

Oscar nods. “Okay. Thank you.”

Maybe they’ll just continue to keep it a secret, at least for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's title was also taken from TXT's song "Can't You See Me".
> 
> So yeah, no underage in this story. I was surprised that GH didn't have a sex storyline between Oscar and Josslyn or even have them discuss it when he was dying, but I guess it's because they are supposed to be underage and that's just not classy. I do wish we'd get these kids talking about sexuality and orientation besides that one throw-away comment between Dev and Cam. 
> 
> I'm not 16 anymore, nor am I a boy, so I can't pretend to know how a conversation like this between two sixteen year old boys would actually go, and I'm not sure how many such teenagers would admit that they're not ready for sex but when I was 16 I sure as heck wasn't. I like to imagine that being faced with death and cancer would make them think a little more carefully about these things.
> 
> And when they got "caught" making out I debated having both of them yell "I'm gonna go shower" but I decided nah, that's Cam's thing.


	3. This Thing We Keep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Jason OOC in this story? I definitely picture him as the cool uncle who is like "You guys can do whatever you want but if someone fucks with you I'll fuck them up."
> 
> Also sometimes I'm like "Jason can never be out of character because he doesn't have a character, all he does is scowl and punch people."

Cam will look back on the incident some day and admit that mistakes were made, but won’t bring himself to regret his actions.

Publishing a book is hard, or at least it’s harder than Cam thought it would be. He’s skimmed the book his mom reads (usually while waiting for her and having nothing better to do) and honestly she reads some basic-ass shit. If these people can get books published about the most inane things, surely Cam and Oscar’s book about running away and almost dying should be a no-brainer.

But the book doesn’t really go into details about how they ran away (not wanting to get the FBI’s attention and expose Jordan’s brother and all that) and Sarah says her bosses want a little more. There’s no promises it’ll make it into the final book, but she’s asked Cam and Oscar to both write a “foreword” to the book. Apparently it’s like a letter to the reader, talking about what lesson they hope the book teach and all that. Oscar finished his pretty easily, but Cam is having trouble. This is starting to feel more like a homework assignment than anything.

But the weather is nice and Cam’s online lessons don’t require him to be on camera today, so Oscar chases him outside with a pen and a notebook.

“Go to the park and pretend you’re writing in your journal again,” he says, “I’ll do your classwork today.”

It’s the first time Cam’s really had the chance or desire to walk around Port Charles since returning, so he takes the long way to the park. Winter is finally retreating, the trees are starting to grow their leaves back and the pollen tickles the back of his throat, so he stops at the coffee and pretzel stand and buys his favorite combination of coffee and cinnamon and sugar pretzel bites. He parks himself on a bench while he eats, the sugar gets everywhere and he remembers all the times he did just this with his brothers, how he’d make them take off their jackets and shake them out before they went home, holding a finger to his lips and whispering “Don’t tell mom.” She never liked Jake and Aiden eating sugary snacks, said it would make it impossible to get them to eat healthy.

Maybe Cam will make his foreword a letter to his brothers. Things are still awkward between them, much as Cam tries to be the brother he always has been. He wonders who’s been buying them pretzels in the park. Franco? Grandma? Maybe Josslyn, she says she’s babysat Jake and Aiden a few times.

Cam dusts off his hands and picks up his pen and notebook.

_If you’re reading this_

No that’s stupid.

_~~If you’re reading this~~ _

_When I started this I never imagined_

That’s better…what didn’t he imagine?

Cam taps the pen against the paper and looks up, not really looking but rather staring into the distance. He never imagined it would turn out like this, that’s for sure.

Like what? He hears Sarah’s voice asking him.

Like…living in Jason’s house, sleeping in Danny’s extra bedroom, feeling like a stranger to his family. If he’s honest, he thought Oscar would be dead by now, maybe he and Josslyn would be dating, and his mom and Franco would be married and he’d be snidely commenting on Franco’s awkward attempts to be his father.

This is so pointless.

“What the fuck are you looking at?”

Cam jumps and comes back to reality, only for his heart to start racing. Shit, shit, fuck—its David, Lawson, and Trent, Cam’s former teammates and a bunch of guys he definitely did not want to run into today. Why aren’t they in school? Cam ignores them, he shuts his notebook and picks up his phone from where it fell out of his pocket—oh, its 3:30, school is out and he’s been out longer than he thought he would be.

“What’s the matter, Cam?” Trent calls, “Are we not your type?”

Cam can feel his hands shaking and he tells himself to ignore them, just walk away. He tosses his coffee cup and starts back towards Jason’s, fuck the foreword and fuck these guys, he’s going home.

Except he finds his path blocked by even more people he didn’t want to see today. Patrick, James, Bobby, and Henry, more of his former teammates. He goes to walk around them, but Henry grabs his arm and throws him back.

“Fuck off,” Cam snarls, “Don’t touch me.”

“You must be confused, gay boy,” Henry says with a smirk, “I think you’re the one who ran into me.”

Cam goes again to walk away, but the other three have caught up and this time Trent blocks his path and shoves him. “Where’s your boyfriend, anyway?” Trent asks.

“Why, you wanna make sure he’s not around before you ask me out?” Cam snaps. “You seem pretty concerned with my sexual preference, almost obsessed I would say.”

Trent shoves him again. “Watch your mouth princess.”

“Ooh, worried about my mouth now?” Cam asks. He’s dropped his notebook, he’s balled his hands into fists and hopes to god none of them can tell he’s shaking. He’s not sure if he’s scared or outraged.

“You got some fucking nerve,” Bobby says, “Were you watching us? We shared a fucking locker room with you.”

Another shove—Cam can’t tell who did it. “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Cam says (later he’ll realize this was one of his mistakes, he should have just kept his mouth shut), “You said it yourself, you’re not my type.”

“No, I guess not,” Trent says with a sneer. “You go for the sick ones. Oscar’s not a surprise, but you? Boy you had us fooled, you fucker.”

“Or maybe you’re the one getting fucked,” Lawson muses.

That’s when Cam snaps. “I say again, you seem pretty obsessed. You hiding something? I swear I’ve seen you looking at me in the showers more than—”

He doesn’t finish that because Lawson punches him. Cam ducks but Lawson clips his jaw, and Cam hits him back, getting his fist in Lawson’s stomach before he’s grabbed. He breaks free, swinging wildly and his hands connect with flesh but it’s seven on one. A blow lands on his head and his back but he barely feels anything he’s so angry, these guys used to be his friends, he can’t believe he ever thought he was one of them, he hates them all. He _wants_ to kick all of them to the ground but it’s not long before a fist comes flying at his face and he hears a sickening crunch. His vision blacks out and he cries out, doubling over, and someone grabs his arms and pins them behind his back. He squirms but there’s more than one person holding him and his nose is throbbing, blood is filling his mouth and spots are swimming in front of his eyes. He can just make out Lawson standing in front of him, grinning.

Cam has no idea what possess him to do it. He spits a mouthful of blood at Lawson and it lands on his shirt. Lawson yells wordlessly and socks Cam across the chin, more blood comes pouring out of Cam’s mouth and he smirks.

“Oh, do it again,” Cam moans as he straightens up.

Lawson gapes at him and he feels the guys behind him recoil, and it’s enough for Cam to wrench his arms free and kick out at the guys behind him, he lands one but he’s dizzy and he falls to his knees right after.

At the same time, Cam becomes aware that a girl is screaming and he hears someone running towards them. He hears a blow land and a grunt, and then more yelling and sounds of people fighting, and he realizes it’s Josslyn and Trina he hears yelling.

“WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?!” Josslyn screams.

“—by the pretzel cart, oh my god hurry!” Trina shouts, “There’s blood everywhere!”

Someone is still getting hit, but Cam hears Trent yell, “Run!” and several people retreating.

“Dev, stop!” Josslyn yells, and Cam hears a grunt and then he realizes he can’t see anything because he’s face down in the dirt. He rolls over and blinks a few times, and his vision clears slightly. He sees Josslyn leaning over him, her face white and terrified.

“Oh my god, Cam!” she gasps, her hands hovering over him.

Dev’s face appears, and he bats Josslyn’s hands away. “No, don’t move him,” he says, “They got him in the head, it’s dangerous.”

Dev’s lip is split and it looks like he got hit a few times. “Your face…” Cam mutters.

“Yeah, yeah, my face,” Dev says, “Don’t worry about it I know I’m handsome.”

Cam laughs and chokes on the blood that’s still pooling in his mouth.

“Shit!” Josslyn yelps, “No, wait, recovery position! He needs to be on his side…”

“’M fine,” Cam tries to assure, even though the black spots are back and he’s pretty sure he’s not fine. Joss and Dev lean over him and he feels one of them hold his head steady as the other one pushes at his shoulders and back. “I just need to go home,” He insists as he’s rolled on his side. Then he coughs, feeling blood and saliva spill out of his mouth.

“You’re not going home,” Trina says, “I hear the sirens, I’ll see if I can go…oh I see the paramedics! HEY OVER HERE!”

In the back of his head, Cam knows that something terrible has just happened to him and he should probably be feeling several different things at once, but all he can think is that his mom is going to be so, so pissed at him because he’s definitely off the soccer team.

* * *

Just as Oscar is putting on his shoes to go find Cam and bring him home, his phone rings and he sees that it’s Cam’s number.

“Hey, I was just going to come get you,” Oscar says.

 _“Hey, freak,”_ says someone who is definitely not Cam, _“Your boyfriend says hi.”_

Oscar freezes, feeling the blood drain from his face. “Who is this?” He asks.

 _“How do you like sucking dick, Oscar?”_ Another voice asks, and Oscar hangs up, his hands shaking. Before he can think about what to do, Cam’s number is calling him again, he hangs up and quickly starts look for Josslyn’s name, but then he gets a call from her. He answers, part of him fearing what he’s about to hear.

“H-hello?”

_“Oscar, oh my god, it’s Cam!”_

“Someone must have taken his phone,” Oscar says, his heart feels like it’s doing backflips in his chest. “I just got a call from his phone and it wasn’t him.”

_“What?! Those bastards! I mean, it wasn’t him it was—he’s—Cam got attacked.”_

The world seems to tilt sideways and Oscar braces himself against the wall. “What? Who was it? Is he okay? Are you with him?”

 _“I’m not, not anymore, he’s being taken to GH,”_ Josslyn sobs, _“It looked kinda bad, I called my mom and she said she’s gonna tell Jason to get over there…”_

Oscar’s phone beeps and he looks at the screen, Cam’s name flickers on it and he sees red. He selects accept and screams into the phone, “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

_“Oscar?!”_

It’s Jason’s voice. “Jason! Oh my god do you have Cam’s phone?”

_“No, it’s just me.”_

Oscar looks back at his screen, he is talking to Jason’s number. He feels his face heat up. “Sorry, I was getting a call, never mind are you on your way to the hospital? Joss said Cam got attacked.”

_“I’m a block away from the house, get a mask on and come meet me.”_

Oscar has a mask in his pocket, so he races out the door and down the stairs. His phone is vibrating in his hand and he has no desire to look and see if it’s Cam’s number calling him. He stumbles out of the door and sees Jason pulling up, and as soon as he’s in the passenger seat Jason is peeling away, knuckles white on the steering wheel.

“What do you know?” Oscar asks, fumbling for his seat belt.

“Some guys from the soccer team attacked Cam at the park, he got taken to GH in an ambulance, Josslyn said his face was bloody and he may have gotten hit pretty hard in the head. What were you saying about his phone?”

“I got a call from his number and when I answered it wasn’t him it was—” He chokes as he remembers the question he got. His phone vibrates again and he glances down. “They’re calling me again!” He says, sounding and feeling like he’s got a hand wrapped around his throat.

Jason seizes the phone and accepts the call. “This is Jason Morgan,” he says in the coldest tone of voice Oscar has ever heard him use, it sends a chill down his spine. “Who is calling?”

Oscar knows that whoever is on the other end of the call is pissing their pants, even kids younger than Aiden know who Jason Morgan is and what he does. Jason tosses the phone back to Oscar, the call has ended and his phone sits there, silent.

Oscar can’t bring himself to feel relieved, not when he’s picturing Cam bloody in the back of an ambulance. He’s the one who told Cam to go out in the first place.

As soon as Jason pulls into the hospital parking lot, Oscar is off like a shot. He’s barely got his mask on when he bursts into the emergency room, straight for the nurses’ desk. “Where’s Cameron Webber?” He asks.

The nurse glances up. “You family?”

Oscar opens his mouth and nothing comes out. He’s not family, and ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t seem to count when it comes from a sixteen year old. The nurse looks over his shoulder and her eyes widen in recognition. “Mister Morgan,” she says. “This way.”

Oscar follows the nurse and Jason, his stomach doing backflips. The nurse takes them to the end of the ward, opens the door and nods them in. Cam is lying on the bed, his head in a brace and blood everywhere. Oscar’s knees buckle and Jason barely catches him before he hits the floor.

“Easy,” Jason says, “I’m sure it looks worse than it is.” He eases Oscar to the empty chair at Cam’s side. Oscar is shaking as he grabs Cam’s hand.

“We’re just waiting on the results of the x-ray,” the nurse says, “He was awake in the ambulance and able to answer questions, but seemed a little disoriented. It’s unlikely he needs the brace, seems like he may have a concussion and a broken nose, and his lip will likely need stitches.”

“Is he…supposed to be asleep?” Oscar manages to ask.

“Yes, it’s fine,” the nurse says. “The doctor will wake him up when she gets here.”

Oscar doubles over and puts his head in his hands. He hears the door close as if in the distance, and then he becomes aware of Jason calling his name.

“Oscar? Come on buddy, just breathe, it’s going to be okay.”

“This is all my fault,” Oscar moans. “Oh my god, it’s all my fault. I’m the one…he wouldn’t have gone out if I hadn’t told him…this is my fault.”

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself.”

Oscar looks up just as Cam’s hand smacks weakly against his chest. “Like I take orders from you.”

Oscar grabs Cam’s hand. “Are you okay?” He asks (stupidly, of course Cam isn’t okay), “I mean, are you hurting?”

“Only where it hurts,” Cam says, and he laughs before choking and wincing. “Oh, not a good idea.”

Jason leans over on Cam’s other side. “Cam, do you want me to call your mom? It’s possible she already know you’re here, but…”

“She was here,” Cam says, “I saw her. Said she’d go talk to the doctor. Said you were on your way.”

“Who did this?” Jason asks. “Can you tell me their names?”

Cam rattles off some names, a few of which Oscar can vaguely put faces to, but he does know that they were all on the soccer team. Josslyn had said people were saying things, but he didn’t think they’d do anything like this.

“’S kinda my fault, really,” Cam says. “I opened my stupid mouth, shoulda just walked away.”

“It’s neither of your faults,” Jason says firmly. He’s typing away on his phone. “Cam, do you have ‘find my phone’ enabled?”

“I dunno,” Cam says.

“That’s okay,” Jason says. “Spinelli can find anything.”

“Oh, did they take my phone?” Cam asks.

“Yeah,” Oscar says. “They called me.”

Cam opens his eyes wide and tries to turn his head. “Shit! Oh my god Oscar, don’t listen to them, I mean, don’t pay attention to what they said. What did they say? It doesn’t matter, I’ll kick their fucking asses I swear to god, just wait til I see them on Monday,” he blinks a few times. “Wait, no, we don’t go to school.”

Oscar kind of wants to kiss Cam, but his lip is still dribbling blood so Oscar settles for lifting his hand and kissing his palm. Cam stop talking and stares at Oscar in shock. “I’m sure you’d kick their asses, don’t worry,” Oscar says.

Cam smiles, not seeming to mind the blood that drips on to his teeth.

The door opens and Lucas Jones walks in. Elizabeth is behind him, and she shuts the door after she comes in but stays against it. Oscar briefly wonders if he should let go of Cam’s hand, but Cam squeezes it, so Oscar squeezes back and doesn’t let go.

“Let’s get you out of that brace,” Lucas says. He gently undoes the straps around Cam’s head and continues, “X-rays are back and we didn’t see any damage to your spine or skull. You might want to see a dentist, it looks like you may have some loose teeth but I didn’t see any missing.” The brace is gone and somehow it makes Cam’s face look worse. He hears Elizabeth whimper from the doorway.

“I know the nurse already did this,” Lucas says apologetically, “But I’m just going to have a gentle feel around your eyes and nose, okay?”

“Yeah,” Cam says. Lucas does seem to be gentle, but when he touches Cam’s nose he yelps in pain.

“Sorry, sorry,” Lucas says. “But I have good news, I don’t think it’s broken. Nothing looks to be out of alignment and it may be swollen and painful, but I think you got away with maybe a small fracture. I wanna put some stitches in that lip, but I don’t imagine it’ll be more than five or six stitches total.”

“So I’m still good-looking?” Cam jokes, glancing at Oscar. Oscar laughs, and Lucas nods.

“And very humble,” Lucas says. “And do you know what day it is?”

“Date or day?” Cam asks, “Because I know it’s Wednesday and I’m pretty sure it’s the fourteenth but earlier I could have sworn I was on the soccer team and now I remember I am most definitely not.”

“You got the date right,” Lucas says, “And it’s okay for you to be a little confused. I’d say you’ve got a mild concussion so I’d like you to stay put for an hour or two, but I see no reason for you to be here over night. I’ll go get some anesthetic and we can get your lip taken care of.”

Everyone in the room breathes a sigh of relief. There’s a knock at the door and Elizabeth opens it. A nurse passes in a pink basin and says, “Clean up for Mister Webber.”

Oscar jumps up and grabs the basin from Elizabeth. “I’ll do it,” he says.

Elizabeth nods, and glances over at Cam, but Jason comes to her and says something Oscar doesn’t catch. She nods, and Jason says, “We’ll be outside, yell if you need anything.” He, Elizabeth, and Lucas exit and Oscar takes the basin, full of warm water and with a washcloth floating in it, to the bed and sits back down.

“Ooh, coming to sponge away the blood?” Cam asks, batting his eyelashes at Oscar.

“Least I could do,” Oscar says. As the blood comes away he can tell that Cam’s going to be pretty bruised up and the guilt comes back.

“Hey, what’s all that?” Cam asks. “Do I sense anything other than relief that I’m still my good-looking self?”

Oscar snorts. “So when you’re concussed, you become narcissistic?”

“Who’s that? The guy from Harry Potter?”

Oscar rolls his eyes. Cam flinches as Oscar cleans the blood under his nose. “Sorry,” Oscar says quietly.

“It’s not your fault. I meant that,” Cam says. “I lost track of time, didn’t realize school was out. Though the more I think about it, the more I get angry. I shouldn’t have been jumped in the first place, not at 3 in the afternoon in a public park. Those guys were just assholes and bigots and ridiculously insecure about themselves.”

The water is turning pink and the smell of blood is making Oscar kind of nauseous. He gets up to dump the water and rinse the washcloth, but Cam grabs his wrist.

“Oscar, say it. It wasn’t your fault.”

Oscar swallows. “It wasn’t my fault.”

Cam nods and lets Oscar’s wrist go. Oscar goes to the sink and dumps the water, refills the bucket, and goes back to give Cam’s face one more gentle rinse, careful to avoid his nose.

“Now tell me honestly,” Cam says, “How bad is it?”

“Well, you kind of look like one of those camouflage soldiers. You know the ones that paint their faces.”

“I knew Lucas was lying,” Cam says.

“I didn’t say you didn’t look good,” Oscar says, winking.

There’s a knock at the door and Lucas comes back in, holding a needle and a sealed packed. “Don’t worry, I earned a badge in Boy Scouts for my sewing skills,” he says.

Cam eyes the needle nervously, and Oscar takes his hand and links their fingers together. “Can I stay?” he asks, “And just so you know, I have no intention of leaving, I’m just being polite.”

Lucas grins. “I wouldn’t dream of asking you to leave.”

* * *

If Cam squeezes Oscar’s hand too hard, Oscar never says anything about it. When Lucas finishes the stitches he puts some tape across Cam’s nose, saying it’s really just for stability’s sake over the next few days and he can peel it off in about 48 hours. Then he holds up a mirror so Cam can inspect his handiwork, and Cam can’t help but feel angry when he sees his face. He’s going to be bruised so badly for days after this, and he knows he’ll have more dotted across his torso.

“You have visitors,” Lucas says, “If you’re up for it.”

Cam shrugs. “Who is it?”

“Last I checked, Josslyn and company.”

“Yeah, let them in,” Cam says eagerly, pushing himself up on his elbows.

Lucas opens the door and Josslyn and Trina come in, yelling over each other and fussing.

“I can’t understand what you’re saying,” Cam manages to get out as Josslyn hugs him somewhat awkwardly, obviously trying not to hurt him in places that don’t really hurt.

Josslyn wipes her face and looks to Trina, who takes a few calming breaths and says, “We’re just glad you’re awake, you were really out of it when the ambulance came.”

“I’m okay,” Cam assures them, “Just a little banged up.” It’s then that Cam realizes it’s not just them, Dev came too. “Hey,” Cam gasps, “Dev, are you okay?”

Dev gapes at him. “Am I okay? Dude, you look like you lost a fight with the sidewalk.”

“Hey, my boyfriend says I still look devastatingly handsome!”

“Uh, those were not my words,” Oscar says.

“Did you tell them you got socked?” Cam continues, waving a hand at Oscar, “Maybe you should get checked for a concussion too.”

“You have a concussion?!” Josslyn cries.

“Oh yeah,” Cam tells her, “And my nose is fractured but not broken, hey why are you crying?” He asks, bewildered, as Josslyn cries harder.

“Oh, C-Cam,” Trina hiccups, “You don’t…you can’t imagine what it was like to just see them…to see them doing that to you. The way they were holding you and j-just, my god we thought they were gonna kill you!”

“Wait, holding him?” Oscar says.

“Oh right,” Cam mutters. “Um, Henry and someone else were kinda holding me with my arms behind my back while Lawson punched me in the face.”

“WHAT?!” Oscar screams, getting to his feet.

“Hey, it’s okay!” Cam says hastily, reaching for Oscar, “I’m here, right? I’m okay.”

“Yeah and he got them good,” Dev says. “What did you say to them anyway?”

“Oh,” Cam says, “I uh, I said ‘Oh do it again,’ after he punched me.”

Josslyn chokes on her next sob and instead starts coughing. Trina falls to the floor with her head in her hands, and Cam panics before he realizes she’s giggling.

Dev doubles over laughing. “You did not! What the fuck, dude?” He’s hysterical, and Cam starts to laugh, too. It pulls at the stitches in his lip and he winces, but he can’t help it.

Oscar looks incredulous, but he starts to laugh, too. “Holy shit, Cam,” he gasps.

“Hey, it worked!” Cam says. “I think I shocked them because I managed to kick myself free and get some good hits in.” He reaches for Oscar and tugs him down on the bed. Oscar comes easily and wraps his arms around Cam’s shoulders.

“Cameron Webber, you are something else,” Oscar whispers, leaning in and resting his forehead against Cam’s.

Cam takes a moment to just take a breath. What an absolutely insane afternoon. He leans back when he hears Josslyn hiccup. She’s wiping her eyes and her hands are shaking, and now that he looks he realizes that Trina and Dev, despite smiling, also look pale and scared. He thinks about the chaos of those moments and how it must have looked to them, seven guys beating the crap out of him. If he had seen something like that happening to Oscar or Josslyn…he doesn’t want to imagine the state he’d be in.

“Dev, thanks,” Cam says. “Thanks for jumping in like that. And Trina, you called the ambulance, right?” Trina nods and pushes herself up on the edge of Cam’s bad. He reaches out and takes her hand, and then Josslyn’s. “Joss, I heard you yelling like you were trying to raise the dead. And I’m pretty sure you kept me from drowning in my own blood.”

Josslyn sniffles. “I heard the commotion and I thought I had seen the soccer team going in that direction. God when I saw…but you’re going to be okay.”

“You can hug me,” He says, “My ribs don’t hurt that bad. And if Oscar doesn’t mind sharing.”

Oscar moves back slightly but keeps his hand on Cam’s back. Josslyn hugs him, then Trina, and then Cam offers his hand to Dev for one of those handshake-half hug guy things. Maybe someday he’ll be on hugging terms with Dev but…well even after all this it’s not really full-on hug time.

“So, what happens to the guys?” Dev asks. “The ones who did this? Will they go to jail?”

“I don’t know about that,” Trina says, a little put out, “But maybe they’ll get suspended.”

“Oh don’t worry,” Josslyn says with a smirk, “I saw Jason heading out as we came in, I think he’s gonna go put the fear of god into them.”

“Hey yeah, they stole my phone, didn’t they?” Cam says, “I heard one of you mention it.”

“Yeah and they called me,” Oscar says.

Cam leans back against him. “Bastards,” he says, “I’ll kill them.”

“Not if Jason gets to them first,” Dev says with a laugh.

There’s a knock at the door and Josslyn looks at Cam and Oscar questioningly. Cam shrugs, so she gets up and opens the door to peek out. She leans back in, eyes wide. “Um, it’s your mom—both your moms—and Franco.”

Cam doesn’t jump to get away from Oscar. Instead he leans back and meets Oscar’s eyes, and Oscar nods.

“Can you guys give us a minute with them?” Cam asks.

Josslyn nods and the three of them file out, Kim, Franco, and his mom coming in. His mom comes to his side at once, and she touches his shoulder hesitantly.

“Honey, are you in any pain?” She asks.

Cam shakes his head. “No, I’m okay. But mom, there’s something I want to tell you. That both of us want to tell all of you.”

“Cam and I are dating,” Oscar says. “For months now, since before we got to Australia but after Mount Kilimanjaro.”

“And that’s why I got jumped,” Cam says. “Because even though we’re not like, posting sappy pictures on Instagram the kids at school seem to think they know everything, so some of the guys from the soccer team took issue with my perceived sexual orientation.”

His mom looks a little surprised. “Oh, oh honey…”

Franco’s jaw drops, “That is—wow, okay, where the hell are the cops? Do you want to press charges?”

“Yes, do you?” His mom asks, “And sweetie I hope you know that I love you and I will always love you.”

“And I love you too, Oscar,” Kim is quick to add.

“Yeah, I know,” Oscar says.

“Me, too,” Cam adds. “And I don’t know if I want to press charges, I think Jason’s on the case.”

“Jason?” Franco and his mom gasp at the same time, looking around as if just realizing he’s not present.

“Yeah, Joss says he went out looking like he was about to about to go knock some heads together,” Cam says. “But there’s something we have to be clear about—just because we’re coming clean about this doesn’t mean we’re like, past everything.”

Oscar nods. “Yeah, I can’t speak for Cam but I am still royally pissed off about the whole ‘keeping cancer a secret’ thing.”

Kim looks away.

Cam looks at Franco. “And I’m starting to realize you may be an okay guy but the truth of it is, I don’t want another dad, not after the last five I had and almost had.”

Franco nods. “Okay. So where does that leave everything?”

“Well, back where we started I guess,” Oscar says. “Oh and Drew knows, and so does Jason. They’re both cool with it.”

“Yeah Jason says he trusts us,” Cam says. “So I guess when he gets back, we’ll just go home with him.”

Mercifully, no one argues with that. And when Jason does get back an hour later, he tosses Cam his phone and says, “Come on guys, let’s get out of here.”

(In the car they ask Jason how he got the phone, and Jason shrugs and says “The less you know the better, but you won’t have any trouble from that bunch anymore.”)

In the following days, Cam and Oscar learn that Lawson and Trent have been identified as the main aggravators of the attack and they do get arrested, but get off with community service, and the rest of the bunch get suspended from school. Josslyn calls it bullshit, but Cam knows that it could have ended a lot differently and is just glad that something got done.

It takes a couple of days for Cam to recover, he spends most of it sleeping. He writes his foreword, finally, and sends it off to Sarah. In the first day he forgets about his nose several times and is reminded that it’s fractured when he tries to kiss Oscar and either gets shoved away or a painful reminder.

“You really wanna kiss me that bad, huh?” Oscar asks after about the sixth time.

Cam pouts at him (pouts!) and says, “Well, what else did I defend your honor for?”

“My _honor?!_ You jerk-face, what is wrong with you?!”

“Hey leave my face out of it!”

Cam does go to the dentist and gets told to avoid hard and crunchy foods for two weeks. A week after the assault, he goes back to the hospital to get the stitches removed from his lip, and Lucas gives his nose another check.

“Looks to be healing well,” he says. “No extreme sports for a while, okay?”

No extreme sports, just finally getting Oscar alone and making out for a really, really long time.

* * *

Oscar’s final round of chemo is the same day that Sarah calls them and lets them know that the book has been picked up for publishing.

 _“They liked the title you guys picked,”_ She says. _“‘Before I Go.’ It’s set to hit the shelves around the end of summer.”_

They celebrate by telling their families (finally) that they’re going to be published authors, and they seem to take the news well. They each give their parents a copy of the draft, tell them to read it through and just think about it for a little while. It’s a big step, maybe they don’t realize how big. That book is…they really spilled their guts on those pages, and somehow it seemed easier when they were talking to complete strangers. But they want to be more open with their families, and this is where that starts.

Step two is Cam taking Oscar to Kelly’s to have lunch with Jake and Aiden. They set the date for when Oscar’s supposed to get his results back from the recheck of his tumor. Oscar thought it would be a scary day, but when he walks into the diner and sees Cam’s brothers waiting, all he can think about is how great it is to have this moment.

“Jake, Aiden,” Cam says, putting an arm around Oscar’s shoulders, “You know Oscar, but I’m here to introduce him to you as my boyfriend.”

Aiden grins up at Oscar and hugs him, and Jake shakes his hand. They all get burgers and fries and Aiden talks about the baking class he goes to on the weekends, and Jake says he and Franco are painting on a huge sheet of paper in the basement, it’s going to be the biggest painting Jake’s ever done. After lunch they go to the park and get cinnamon and sugar pretzels, and when Oscar’s phone rings he steps away briefly to answer it.

Cam watches, barely noticing that Jake and Aiden have started bickering over their shared lemonade.

Oscar hangs up, smile lighting up his face and Cam feels his breath catch in his throat.

“No way,” Cam breathes.

Oscar runs over and throws his arms around Cam. “It shrunk,” he whispers, “The tumor shrunk, they think I’ve got ten years.”

Ten years, Cam thinks as he hugs Oscar back. It’s not a full life but it’s a lot. It’s ten years of going around the world, and Oscar’s got a tattoo on his back that he’s got to fill up with stars marking the places he’s been.

Cam leans back and kisses Oscar right there in the middle of the park, and a few feet away his brothers make faces and call them sappy, but only because they’re kids and kissing is gross. By tomorrow it’ll probably be all around the high school—Cam and Oscar were kissing in the park. Let them talk, Cam thinks. Nothing can ruin this moment for him, or for Oscar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title taken from the song "Genghis Khan" by Miike Snow.
> 
> Up next, the epilogue.


	4. Epilogue - Run Away With Me

Oscar spots Josslyn first, and he waves his arms over his head and jumps up and down. “OVER HERE!” He screams, making several dozen people look his way.

Josslyn lets out a scream of delight and runs over, Oscar meets her halfway and catches her in a hug, spinning around.

“Make way!” Trina yells, careening in and nearly making them fall over under the added weight of her backpack—Cam manages to keep them all from falling over, but then Dev joins in and they all end up on the ground anyway.

It’s been almost a year since they all saw each other, and for a few minutes their reunion is complete chaos as they all hug and talk over each other and exclaim over how good everyone looks. When they finally calm down, the first thing Oscar asks is if they’ve all got exactly what they need, and Cam starts checking the trio’s backpacks to see if they’re sturdy and if they’ve got proper sleeping bags.

“We bought exactly what you said,” Dev promises, “So if there’s any problems you have no one to blame but yourselves!”

Trina bounces on her toes with excitement. “I can’t believe we’re actually here! I never thought I’d be so happy to do something so ridiculously difficult!”

“I can’t believe I’m so excited to do it a second time,” Cam says.

Three years since he and Oscar first came to Tanzania and scaled Kilimanjaro, they’re back to do it again and this time their best friends are joining them.

Oscar and Cam arrived weeks ago; it was Oscar’s turn to pick where they went and he chose Olduvai Gorge, a site famous for the discoveries made in paleoanthropology. Oscar’s become fascinated with the earliest hominids and the proximity to Kilimanjaro only made the site more appealing to him. He wonders if early mankind were as enthralled by the stars as their descendants, if they ever stopped at night and stared at the sky in awe.

The five of them take a taxi to the same hotel Oscar and Cam stayed in years ago and they all go over their gear once more. Cam triple checks his camera equipment and Oscar teases him for it.

“You should see this guy when he gets in pro mode,” he tells the other three. “After all his talk of me being a nerd for wanting to see some footprints, I could hardly tear him away from the site.”

“Hey, I wasn’t just taking pictures of the footprints!” Cam protests. “It was a nice day and the surrounding area was just what rich people pay good money to hang on their walls!”

Over their years of traveling, Cam has developed quite the skill in photography, so much so that he’s started selling his pictures and makes good money doing it, which greatly helps to fund their travels. The site of the Laetoli footprints was a very pretty spot, and Oscar does have to admit that Cam’s photos did come out amazing and he does tend to know what people will spend their money on.

The money they’ve made from their book gave them the freedom to leave Port Charles and travel, exactly as they wanted to. The response has been overwhelmingly positive (even if the reviews did impress that they did not condone the two of them taking off like they did and worrying their parents), with most of the reviews saying that the perspective the two of them provided on mortality was “refreshing and exemplary” (“Can’t they just say they liked it?” Had been Aiden’s question when he read the reviews and needed a dictionary to understand them).

Oscar is working on a second book, this time about what it’s like to travel the world with the knowledge that he can’t possibly see it all in the time he potentially has, but knowing that it’s more than he could have hoped for. The tumor is not completely gone, but his cancer is classified as “in remission.” The fear of cancer has not gone away, but he tries not to dwell too much on it.

* * *

The second hike up Mount Kilimanjaro is not any easier than the first one, but at least this time they have their best friends along for it. It’s a small group that’s hiking with them. Paul remembered Cam and Oscar, though he still calls them Noah and Evan even after saying he’s read their book. Dev correctly predicts that Cam will be the first to pass out (“Didn’t you learn your lesson the first time?” Oscar scolds as he holds the oxygen mask to Cam’s face), but he’s the second one to pass out (“Didn’t you learn anything from Cam?!” Josslyn scolds as she holds the oxygen mask to his face).

The five of them are the youngest in the group, the other four hikers are a group of college students who are celebrating their graduation (Trina may or may not be flirting with one of them). They’re a good-natured bunch and it all feels very familiar to Oscar. On most nights Josslyn insists she’s not tired before falling asleep by the fire, her head on Dev’s shoulder, and Trina complains that she can’t possibly sleep when the night sky is so clear and the stars are so bright.

The top of the mountain is just as breathtaking as it was the first time—literally and figuratively. Upon reaching the summit Oscar lays flat on his back and stares up at the sky. Part of him feels like he’s come home, and the other part of him feels like he wants to fall into the endless expanse of stars above. He’s put a lot of stars on the map tattooed on his back; he’s seen Athens, the Galapagos Islands, and Stonehenge, but this is still the most beautiful place in the world to him.

Cam leans over him and raps his knuckles against Oscar’s head. “Wake up,” he says, “We have to do the couple thing.”

Oscar grins and gets to his feet, pulling out his phone. He and Cam go over to the sign marking the summit, set the camera to selfie mode, and take a picture as they kiss.

The picture comes out terribly, they end up getting Josslyn to take the picture. They return the favor when she kisses Dev in front of the sign, and for good measure Trina kisses the boy she’s been flirting with the whole trip. When make camp that night, Cam sets up his camera with the lens pointed at the sky, so he can take long-exposure photographs of the stars. As he stands off to the side, his head tilted to the sky, Oscar joins him. They’re away from the group, the sounds of their conversations carried away by the wind, and for a few moments it’s easy to pretend that it’s just the two of them on this ancient volcano. Oscar wonders how many people have stood in this same spot and looked at these same stars.

3.7 million years ago—that’s the earliest evidence of ancient beings walking on two feet. Once, Oscar walked along a timeline of the universe and thought about how his sixteen years on earth amounted to no more than a speck of dust. Those early humans had no idea what the stars were, what shape their planet was, or that the steps they took would be frozen in time, studied, and revolutionize the way their descendants understood history. Oscar doesn’t know what kind of imprint his own short life will leave on this earth, or who might stand in this spot a hundred, a thousand, or a hundred thousand years from now and look up at the stars.

“Earth to Oscar.”

Oscar tears his gaze away from the sky and sees Cam staring at him.

Cam grins, “Welcome back, space cadet. Thought I lost you for a second there.”

Oscar laughs and reaches for Cam’s hand. “I’m here, just…took a little trip down a rabbit hole of time and space.”

“Nerd,” Cam teases. Then his smiles fades. “I was in a rabbit hole for a second there, too. You know, if we hadn’t left Port Charles…if we hadn’t gone to Australia and those doctors had seen your scans and decided to try to operate…”

Oscar nods. “Yeah, I think about it, too. Things would have been very different, now. I probably wouldn’t be here.”

Cam shivers and Oscar steps closer, huddling against him. “Don’t even say it,” Cam protests as he hugs Oscar.

“Sorry,” Oscar says.

Cam presses his face into Oscar’s neck. “Tequila.”

Oscar gags. “Oh, really?”

Cam laughs and starts to walk towards the tent, tugging Oscar along by the hand. “C’mon, let’s go get some sleep.”

* * *

Josslyn, Trina, and Dev will be starting college soon. Cam and Oscar thought about joining them, but they’ve decided to wait. College sounds fun, actually. Yeah, there will be papers and deadlines and tests, but in traveling the world and going to museums and historical sites, they’ve found that they like learning. Oscar thinks he’d like to be an anthropologist, and Cam thinks it might be nice to learn more about photography and computers. But it’s hard to think about stopping and staying in one place. Three years ago Cam would never have thought he’d consider youth hostels, communal showers, and sleeping bags “homey” but it’s become a way of life for Oscar and himself. In a way, he supposes it is a bit like living in a college dorm—the difference being if he wakes up at 6 AM, it’s because he’s watching the sun rise over the savanna, or getting ready to hike to a waterfall in the middle of a rainforest, rather than go to class.

After they finish this trek and bid goodbye to Josslyn, Dev, and Trina, it’ll be Cam’s turn to pick their next destination. He’s thinking they’ll go to Canada and see some dinosaur fossils—he’s heard there’s a dinosaur mummy in a museum there and he thinks Oscar would like to see it. Maybe when they’ve seen everything they want to see there, they’ll pop back to Port Charles for a bit. His mom and Franco are celebrating their one-year anniversary soon and he wants to see them, and his brothers, and he knows Oscar misses Scout.

Of the ten years doctors think they bought him, Oscar’s got seven left—if they were right. It’s possible that in the future his tumor could shrink with more treatment, or maybe it won’t grow at all. That’s the scary part of remission, no one knows how long it’ll last. All he and Oscar can do is take everything day by day and count their blessings.

This isn’t how Cam thought he’d be spending his twenties. When he agreed to help Oscar get a fake passport, when he decided that Josslyn would never forgive him if he let Oscar go alone, he never could have imagined that one choice would change his life so much.

But if he could do it all over again, he wouldn’t change a damn thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from TXT's song "Run Away".
> 
> And so Oscar and Cam get the FUCK out of Port Charles and never look back (à la Lucky Spencer) because PC is the place that buries their gays, and in a perfect world Oscar's cancer never comes back. Maybe Cam and Oscar will get married someday but probably not because that's not their style. They'll just buy rings and fake being on their honeymoon every time they go out to eat in a new place so they get free deserts. 
> 
> Now I have to go and avenge my son Dev because the writers were doing wrong by him even before they killed him off, so thanks for reading this series and I hope you'll check out my Dev piece when I post it!


End file.
